Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
