She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
