Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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