We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have so many feelings about this burrito
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
