I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
