I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
