i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
