She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
