i think i have two assholes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
