they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
