Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My breasts were aching with rage.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
