Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My ATM looks so different sober.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
