the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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