I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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