His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
