Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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