So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
zippers are such a cool invention
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
