I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
