I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize