I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize