I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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