She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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