the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
