Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
