I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
