On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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