My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
