I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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