lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
