haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize