"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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