was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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