So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
