I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
