i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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