i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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