i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
