Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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