Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize