She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize