i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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