you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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