ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
