Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
