i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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