if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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