my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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