I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We have started to decorate penises.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
