how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
