So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
