This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
