i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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