he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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