Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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