You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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