I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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