I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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