We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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