I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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