White coat. Heels.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
