I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
