i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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