All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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