it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
