I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Everything about him screamed your future.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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