I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
